Friday, March 9, 2012

Husband and I move out of state with my step son?

My husband and I hate the state we live in currently. We'd like to move to a warmer climate, and are eyeing North Carolina. My step son is 8, and lives with us full time, visits with his mother for a few hours on weekends.



Legally, they have joint custody with 50/50 visitation, but that's not what we exercise. He resides with us all the time, and she only wants him for a few hours. We get along very well with her so there's really no reason to go to court to change the arrangements because they work out fine. Also, she pays us no child support - not a problem for us.



I guess I just want to know what steps, if any, we would have to take before moving out of state with him? We would be moving about a 15 hour drive away. How would this work, legally?



Also, what if she didn't contest it? Before he and I met he moved out of state with his son (about a 20 hour drive) for work and she didn't contest it at all. He spent a few months with her, and a few months with him - that couldn't happen now though because he's in school, so he'd have to stay the entire school year with us and visit her summers and vacations.



And advice and help would be awesome!



Thanks!Husband and I move out of state with my step son?
It sounds to me like the mother wouldn't care much if you did leave and take your step son. You and your husband obviously care a lot about him, and you sound like a much better mother figure to me then she does. I don't think it would be that terrible if he didn't live that close to his mother and her in jail, abusive, ex! If she did fight it, I would imagine the judge would take all of the details you have mentioned into account. My money would be on you and your husband winning custody. Even if you plan on waiting until he is a bit older, you should slowly introduce the idea now. Get him used to the idea of living in a beautiful place with great weather. Get brochures and show him all the perks to moving there.
I have a hard time with any child being seperated from a parent like this...



I sincerely hope that you guys weigh this out. This is his mother and it is your repsonsibility to help keep this relationship in tact and healthy.



I do not like where I live BUT I have placed my son's best interest first and foremost...



Good luck.Husband and I move out of state with my step son?
You need to consult your attorney about the custody arrangements. Even though she is not exercising them, she is entitled to them. There is often a prohibition in these arrangements against moving more than some certain number of miles away.
Most divorce agreements these days, state you have to give a certain amount of time as notice. Legally they have joint custody, but maybe you guys could discuss this amongst yourselves and if all is in agreement, take it before the judge without the expense of a lawyer.Husband and I move out of state with my step son?
If she doesn't contest it, then I don't see any problem. But really there IS a reason to go to court to change the custody arrangement, because if they ever fall out, she can say she doesn't agree anymore and then you'd be in alot of problem. The should get the custody changed, if she's ok with it, it won't be complicated, and he can also state that he doesn't want CS, just a new custody arrangement. Where you'd have primary physical custody, and she'd have access summer and holidays.
i think you would be O.K. as long as she didn't fight you but I would at least let the courts know your intentions to moving and than if she wants she can have summer visits and holidays some not all because that isn't fair to you guys.
i really don't think it is a good idea. even if she would see him during the summer and vacations, she will become a stranger to him. not a total stranger, but the closeness won't be there.i'm sure your a great stepmom, but you two should really think about this. wait until he is older, then run the idea past him.
Not liking the climate is an inconvenience (like 2 on scale of 1-10), limiting the son's ability to see his mother and hopefully develop a closer relationship is huge (like a 9 on the scale of 1-10)....in terms of his well being. There is a big difference between her not seeing him now and you eliminating the possibility of her participating more forever.



Why don't you get her to move too?
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